While it may seem like a selfless act, people-pleasing can actually have detrimental effects on one's life. It's important to recognize these signs of people-pleasing behaviour, so you can take steps to change it and live a more fulfilling life.

1. Constant Need For Validation

One of the most obvious signs of people pleasing is a constant need for validation and approval from others. If you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others or feeling anxious when you don't receive it, this may be a sign that you are a people pleaser. Additionally, people pleasers often have a hard time saying "no" to others, even when they are not comfortable with the request.

2. Lack of assertiveness

People pleasers often have a hard time speaking up for themselves and expressing their own needs and wants. They may also avoid conflict, even when it is necessary, in order to avoid upsetting others.


3. Difficulty setting boundaries 

Additionally, people pleasers often have difficulty setting boundaries. They may find themselves constantly over-extending themselves, whether it be with work, friends, or family, and because it is difficult to say no.

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Furthermore, people pleasers may also have a fear of rejection or abandonment. They may be overly concerned with being liked and accepted by others and may go to great lengths to avoid any potential conflict or rejection.

4. Lack of self-care

Another sign of people pleasing is a lack of self-care. These kinds of people neglect their own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. They may also have a hard time prioritizing their own needs and wants.

If you recognize these signs in yourself, it's important to take steps to change this behaviour. What you need to start with is understanding you are a people-pleaser and why you are people-pleasing. 


Once you are aware of your actions, you can begin to set boundaries and communicate your needs and wants to others. This can be difficult at first, but with practice and support, it can become easier over time.


5. Practice Self-Care

Another way to break the habit of pleasing people is to practice self-care. This can include taking time for yourself, setting aside time for hobbies and activities that you enjoy, and learning to say "no" to things that do not align with your values and beliefs. It's important to prioritize your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being and to make sure you're not neglecting yourself.

6. How therapy can help people-pleasing habits

Additionally, therapy can also be a helpful tool in breaking the habit of pleasing people. A therapist can help you to explore the underlying reasons for your people-pleasing behavior and work with you to develop healthier coping mechanisms.

It's important to remember that changing a longstanding habit takes time and effort. It's not going to happen overnight, so be kind and compassionate with yourself throughout the process.

7. The first step in breaking the people-pleasing habit

People-pleasing is a common trait that can have detrimental effects on one's life. Recognizing the signs of people-pleasing behavior is the first step in breaking the habit. It's important to become aware of when and why you're people-pleasing, set boundaries, communicate your needs and wants, practice self-care, and consider seeking therapy for support. Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself and put your needs first. It may be difficult at first, but it's essential for a fulfilling and healthy life.